DISCLAIMER: The dating information contained within this column is meant for social enlightenment only, any misuse or misinterpretation of the advanced dating techniques described herein is solely the reader's responsibility. The self proclaimed experts here do not accept any legal responsibility for empowering the reader with techniques known only up to this point by a select handful of international professional daters.

Your Relationship Advice Experts

Lucy Storm

Lucy Storm

Lucy is a former NFL Cheerleader and professional stage dancer. She currently enjoys a huge following as a dating advice columnist for a major newspaper syndicate and appears regularly on an assortment of TV Talk Shows

Chad Steel

Chad Steel

Chad is a former semi pro athlete and now casting director for a Blockbuster Hollywood Motion Picture Studio. Chad is a self proclaimed expert on the art of the pickup and all matters related to women.

Professor Nigel Hawthorn

Professor Nigel Hawthorn

The Professor is an expert in ancient tribal sexual rituals and communication. He will offer unique historical insights into the human condition as relates to the theory of modern day relationships.

Reader Questions For the Experts

Gunther (28) from London, UK asks:
I belong to an online dating site but I am not having much luck getting women to respond to my ad. Do you have any suggestions?

Lucy Storm

Gunther, women respond to sensitive men that are vulnerable and not too sure of themselves. It's sort of like we want a new puppy, you must come when we call you but if you make a mess, we might smack you with a rolled up newspaper. Make sure your ad highlights your romantic nature but without sounding desperate.

Chad Steel

Gunther, getting an online date is like taking out a used car ad. The prospective buyer will want to know that you have low mileage, not too many people have previously driven you and that nothing leaks, if you know what I mean. Good luck Buddy, keep us posted.

Professor Nigel Hawthorn

Chad makes some good points but I disagree with Lucy about sounding desperate. I have "sealed many a deal" in my pub crawling days by looking pathetic and sounding desperate while holding a fistful of cash at closing time.

Loading…